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Friday, December 31, 2010

A New Me????

This year has been a mix for me... I have lived in 3 different states.. started out with a deployment.. dealt with a couple more small ones... and random other things....

In the process of moving from Ca. to Wa. I have lost my self control and gained about 9 pounds... which makes me very sad... but I am also at a point where it is hard to care.. I am miserable about the way I look but also miserable about how much I have to control my food intake to look anywhere near halfway decent..

I have no motivation to exercise whatsoever, I have never enjoyed exercising.. ever.. I used to do it a lot when I was younger.. but now i find myself avoiding it at all costs... I tell myself to do things.. but then I never do... I know I can't be fat and happy, but I also cannot be so constricted and happy too.. talk about sad.. .Ok.. so I am not going to make a resolution to exercise more or lose weight.. cause I don't think that it would matter if i did.. but I can tell you that I do want to look better.. and surgery is definitely in the cards for my future. Yes, I am going to be that person.. cosmetic surgery to fix the only part of my body that I am not happy with...
I wear a size 4 in jeans that falls down if I do not wear a belt yet my stomach hangs over the top on all sides.. and I look disgusting ... unless of course I wear a girdle.. that is extremely uncomfortable.. but when i do that I have to wear my belt even tighter because my girdle is slippery and my pants fall down.. sigh.. Here you can see kinda what I am talking about... I was wearing a tight shirt over a lose one, hence the purple hanging out the bottom.. but because my shirt is black it hides better.. but you can still see the lump.. kinda.. i will get a better picture at a later date.

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I do realize I am not huge, I am not trying to debate about this.. the fact of the matter is that my belly/spare tire hangs over ALWAYS and I hate it.. period.. I am not comfortable in any clothes unless they hide it.. and not many do.. I am perfectly happy with the size of EVERY other part of my body save for my middle..


I personally do not believe that any amount of exercise is going to make this better.. especially since I did actually work with a trainer for several months back in 2009.. and nothing happened... didn't even really lose weight when I was doing that.. it was depressing.. also I am sure the fact that I have had 3 c-sections and surgery to separate my uterus from my abdomen wall has not helped matters...

sooo... this year I will be working to save up some money so that I can have my microbody sculpting procedure done... and I am really looking forward to that..

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Out with the old

Well the end of the year is fast approaching and with it the change that must come.. I read about resolutions of others and think of myself... What would I want to resolve to do .. I think it would be the same thing that I always resolve to do, not just on New Years, but always. ... I resolve to become a better person... everyday to grow a little, every day to learn a little... Every day to let the ones around me know that I care ... To give to others that need it..To be the friend I would want for myself.

This year has past by quickly for me .. I have lived in 3 different states, traveled many many miles, renewed relationships with family, and given to others.. All in all it has been a pretty good year...

Christmas was wonderful and I got everything I could have wanted... I am blessed in so many ways.. and my kids .. well they are spoiled..lol..

We were able to give a few wonderful gifts to Mom & Dad and see the look on their faces like they were kids again.. To bring tears to Moms eyes with a gift is the best present I could get... and you should have seen dad playing with his tools..lol..It made me so happy to make them happy.. Unfortunately I don't have pictures because this year I resolved to enjoy everything rather than trying to run around capturing it... Kris did take a few though... :)
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The kids reactions to getting their bikes and Alora getting her little atv thing was wonderful.. Mcleod thought his bike was for Kris..lol.. Alora looks at her atv and says .. Mommy? Mine? I said yes Alora, it is yours. Then she proceeds to run up to me with her arms spread to hug me.. <3 It was wonderful! Tristan gave his normal overly enthusiastic response to everything he received, very appreciative, and very loud..lol.. Photobucket
Next year we will be moving again around Christmas time and we won't have so many presents, but I can guarantee it will be just as good, if not better than it was this year.. :)

Monday, December 20, 2010

It is better to give.....

I have always enjoyed giving gifts... as a matter of fact, I usually end up going overboard.. especially at Christmas time...lol..

I love to see the look on someone's face when they love what I have gotten for them.. it really gives me a wonderful feeling.

I have to admit though sometimes I feel twinges of jealousy when other people receive awesome gifts and I don't receive anything in return. I fight with myself over this... Many times when I do receive things I end up wondering why I got it.. mostly because it is usually not something I would choose for myself.. I always wonder if people really know me or if I hide to much of myself .. because if they knew me at all then maybe they would better be able to choose gifts for me.. As my husband says.. I am really hard to shop for i guess... lol..

So, this Christmas season.. my goal is to not be so concerned with what I receive... because it really doesn't matter... What matters is that I have a wonderful family that loves me and that I am very happy .. I really do have everything that I could ever ask for.. :)

I want for everyone to take a look at themselves.. do you get disappointed when you get a gift that you "didn't want" or "didn't like" well don't! There is no reason to ... Someone was thinking about you! Someone in your life had you on their mind as they scanned the internet, shopped the crowded stores, or handmade what they thought would be the perfect gift for you.. What? you don't think it is perfect? Your wrong! As fellow Blogger Kandee said, it is the perfectly imperfect gift for a perfectly imperfect you!

Sometimes even when we believe we are an open book and it is more than obvious what we want for Christmas.. we are usually wrong.. so open those perfectly imperfect gifts and see them for what they are.. A BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT ABOUT YOU!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

And for a little photo pleasure.. Here is a great picture that I took with my new E5..:)
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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Consultation

Well, I went in for a consultation on Saturday at Athenix body sculpting institute, to find out about micro-body contouring... and natural breast augmentation... it definitely looks like something I would want to do... IF they didn't try to over charge me.. They say that the charges are $995 per area.. mmm hmm.. but they break your abdomen down into 3, yes thats right 3 areas! It is ridiculous... Not only that they charge 1500 just for the room, that you are only in for a couple hours btw... doesn't seem worth it if you ask me.. soooo I am going to have my velashape done since it is already paid for and that will probably be the end of it.. we shall see how that works out.. and I will let you know... but $8000 for someone my size is just above and beyond what we are willing to pay right now.. and I still cannot get over them trying to charge the abdomen as 3 areas instead of 1 like it is. crazy...

Thursday, December 16, 2010

My Birthday...

Things have been a little hectic around here and I haven't posted much ...I will try to remedy that and post more often as it is quite the release for me... Anywho... My birthday passed on the 12th and I was lucky enough to be remembered by my family and friends in the form of texts, calls, and fb messages...I love you all and really appreciate you remembering me.

My inlaws were able to come into town for the day so that Kris and I could go to lunch and a movie.. it was nice to be able to spend time with just him... that doesn't happen often these days ...We also finally decorated the tree while the parents were here so that was nice also..:)

Decorating the tree...:)
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I have been feeling off lately for a few reasons.. physically because I believe that i have a sinus infection... emotionally.. because.. well.. sometimes I just feel.. invisible... I am around a lot of people in cyber world on a constant basis.. but I get the feeling most days that people are humoring me and could care less if they ever heard from me again.. yeah i know.. gotta love the pity me crap..lol.. ok, so i don't really want pity..but I know that is how this will be taken.. I am sure everyone feels this way sometimes.. or maybe not.. maybe I am just being ridiculous ... either way... I don't normally share this feeling with others...

Now, on to other things..lol.. I finally have my E5 camera and am looking forward to getting a chance to use it.. but with weather the way it is right now and not having an indoor studio I am not sure when that is going to be... sigh..

Well, I guess that is it for now... I will be posting about my upcoming cosmetic procedures next time... :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

It has been awhile....

Well December is here... only 10 more days until I turn 31 and soon Kris will be back home with us again... Things have been a little crazy lately...

On Monday the 20th we had a bit of a snow storm here and a LOT of power outages.. Our power was out from 6pm Monday night until 12:30 am Wednesday... so a bit over 24 hours without power in 20 some degree weather.. but we managed... we lit a bunch of candles and camped out in my room.. Nicole came to stay with us here since her power was out too... It was nice having another adult to talk to during that super long day..lol..

The Navy also decided to do some fun stuff with our money this month so that messed things up a bit.. hopefully we will be able to get all of that worked out soon..

Other than that.. things have been pretty good.. been doing some Christmas shopping and you know I went out on black friday.. Had to get my drill from sears you know..lol... I bought a few things online too like a new TV for my husband and a washer and dryer for me.. hey .. that doesn't sound right...lmao.. Oh well.. I love my new washer and dryer.. It is wonderful to be able to do big loads of laundry and wash my comforters again!

This is mine now!! The Maytag Bravos
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I am looking forward to doing another giveaway on my blog.. but with the recent events that probably won't happen till January or February now.. but it will happen! So keep a look out ladies! If anyone would like to donate something for a giveaway I would be happy to do it for you!