My life has been a mixture of good and bad... in the past when I was growing up, it was more bad than good.. Nowadays.. it is more good than bad..and I am so thankful for that.
I have friends that have been my friends for years, I have new friends who will be my friends for years to come. I have great kids, (most of the time..lol) a wonderful husband (again most of the time.. lol) and wonderful friends.
It is hard to imagine that only a few years ago things were so much different. There were people I had known for a long time, but I didn't really consider them "friends". There wasn't anyone that I really talked to .. even my relationship with my Dad was pretty non-existent and with my sister it was completely non-existent. I wanted all of that to change, but I wasn't sure how.. I can tell you that the biggest thing that changed in my life back in 2005 was ME .. yep.. ME... How could I expect someone to want to be friends with me if i was always in a bad mood and always negative.. I mean would you really want someone like that around you? I know i wouldn't..
So .. how did I change.. well.. it started with going back to College.. I started taking my classes and then came my Human Service Ethics class... the absolute best class I have ever taken! What a revelation this class gave me! During the class I was required to read a book called " I never knew I had a choice" it was the best book I have ever read! This book was about looking within yourself and finding out why you are the way you are. What is causing it.. and how you fix it! I realized that the anger I harbored for things that occurred in my past was only hurting me.. I learned how to be happy! Yes, you can learn how to be happy!
You know, it is amazing the transformation i have made, and am still making.. If you ask the people that met me in 2005 and prior to that year, they will tell you that their first impression of me, was that I was a Bitch.. and I hated hearing that.. but it was true.. that is how i portrayed myself.. even when i didn't mean to..
Recently I have spoken to my friends (yes i have some wonderful friends now) and asked them what their first impression was of me.. and to my surprise.. it was that i was a nice person, sweet, or friendly.. and they couldn't believe that others thought of me as a bitch! I couldn't believe my ears! lol.. I am becoming the person I have always wanted to be.. the outgoing friendly person whom others are comfortable being around! I attribute this to the work that I have done on myself.. guided by that book I mentioned earlier, and my faith in GOD.. remember GOD helps those who help themselves.. so when I started helping myself.. he sure did push me in the right direction.. :)
I am not sure why I am posting this, I guess I just felt the need to express some of my Joy in the written word.. and let everyone know that you do not have to be unhappy.. get that book! read it! and do the work inside yourself and you will see a change that you will love! You don't have to be religious to be happy.. find the person that you were meant to be.. a happy person..
My Best Forever Friend Nicole & I