Fireproof

I just finished reading this book and I have to say it is one of the best books on marriage that I have ever read. I think everyone should work that hard to keep their marriage from falling apart. (there are always exceptions, like adultery & violence) Too many people give up on their marriage because "we just grew apart". I don't believe that excuse personally, I think that we have to choose to be with our spouse on a daily basis, choose to love them, choose to show them how much we care.

Don't get me wrong, I am no where near perfect and there are definitely things I am working on, but the thing is.. I am trying. People expect the other person to do all the work in the relationship and take no responsibility for the things that go wrong. Before you blame everything on your spouse, take a look at yourself.. If you work on you, then chances are your spouse will want to do the same. I know I have said this before but so many people ignore it.. communication is one of the keys! Tell the one you love how you feel, tell them about your day, no matter how stupid you might think it is. Share yourself with them, how will they know something is wrong, if you don't tell them?

Take responsibility, apologize (this one has always been hard for me, but i am getting better) when you are wrong, sometimes you need to apologize even when you aren't wrong! An apology doesn't necessarily mean saying you are wrong, it could mean saying "I'm sorry for the way you are feeling, or I am sorry that I hurt you".

A simple touch can go a long way. You know that crazy urge you sometimes get in the middle of an argument to just reach out and hug your spouse.. DO IT! They want you to! It really can melt away a lot of the stress and anger between you .. it can give you a renewed sense of the situation. It can replace the intimacy between you that arguments can steal. If you can't manage a hug, reach out and touch their hand, grasp it in yours, let your partner know that you care and that just because you disagree does not change your love or devotion. Trust me when a fight occurs it can chip away at those feelings.

Sit down, side by side, and talk, just talk, about everything. Go for a walk and share your insights, hopes, dreams, your love with one another. Renew your relationship daily through small gestures, don't let your love get lazy. I know I have been guilty of just sitting there when my husband comes home. Instead, get up and go hug your spouse! Let them know that they were missed! That can melt away some of the stress from their day and make them happy to be home!

Marriage is hard, it is work, and it is a commitment.

I implore everyone to read Fireproof and try The Love Dare! I know that it will change the way you look at things.

Marriage

It is amazing how marriage changes over the years..

In the beginning of our marriage things were rough.. and honestly I didn't know if we would stand the test of time, but things changed and we worked it out as we continue to do. Everyday isn't all peaches and cream (good thing to cause i don't like peaches :p) but we are happy.

We have learned that our marriage is the most important thing and putting each other before all else is what makes a great one. We are committed to each other and to making things work. I see so many marriages fall apart for one reason or another and it saddens me. I think most of the time people just take the easy way out.. they abuse their relationship to the point of no return.

I can tell you this, my past relationships definitely were not ideal. However, I did learn something from them although not everything I learned was good. I learned that trust is hard to come by and once that is gone, it is hard to get back. I learned that people will "forget" about their loved one in order to fulfill their primal desires. I learned that if you want to be with someone else you should leave the person your with rather than hurting them. I learned that communication is important and if you cannot talk to your spouse about everything then you will ache inside. I learned that most importantly, you cannot be happy in a relationship if you do not know who you are and depend solely on the other person to entertain, chauffeur you, guide you, or give you friends. You have to be a whole person with them or without them.

I think that one of the things that makes my marriage strong is that my husband and I choose to be together. We both know that we could make it in life without the other, but we choose each other instead. We have a love that I never knew could exist. We were drawn together in an amazing set of circumstances. Our love has grown by leaps and bounds over the years and I am enjoying the growth. Instead of growing apart, we are growing together. We share our likes, dislikes, fantasies, and random thoughts that come to us. We make each other laugh.. and I think that is very important. Laughter in my mind bonds people.. true laughter sets the heart free.

With all the trials and tribulations that Kris & I have faced in the past and will continue to face in the future, I believe that I can safely say we will see you 50 years from now, and we will still be holding hands as we hold each others hearts.

This was our very first picture together... December 2002




This was March 2010 over 7 years later... after his 3rd deployment. :)

30 days of Me- Day 8

Day 08 - a photo that makes you angry/sad

Ok, so I had been thinking about this one for awhile.. and there are probably lots of photos floating around that make me either angry or sad, or both..However, yesterday when I was going through our things thinning stuff out I came across a very old picture.. One of me when I was with my ex. This picture garnered a lot of emotion, mostly anger.



You can see that in the picture I am holding my face, that is because my ex had just hit me and thought it was funny so he took a picture of me. Yep, you read that right. He thought it was funny to hurt me, and btw, I was big because I was pregnant at the time. So this picture definitely makes me angry... but... it also makes me happy because that is no longer my life.. It is a past so distant that I don't much think of it anymore. I have a loving wonderful husband now that makes my life complete and I am very thankful for that.


As for a picture that makes me sad...well.. Most of the pictures that make me sad are a mixture of happy and sad... and most are of my children.. I am sooo happy to have them and look at their pictures.. but at the same time, they are growing up all too quickly before my eyes.

So here are just a few of my beautiful children, in no particular order.





These two pictures were taken on Easter 2008 .. the day Alora started standing on her own.









Ok, so there are soooo many more, so at this point I will stop..lol..